Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu: Kyonko
by FireLeo86
Summary: What if Kyon-ko had existed rather than the male Kyon? Contains minor adult language.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the _Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)_franchise, be it the anime or light novels.**

* * *

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu: A Different Start**

* * *

If you were to ask me when I stopped believing in Santa Claus, don't even bother. I confidently admit to have never believed that old man in red to begin with. I knew that the Santa who appeared at that Christmas event in my preschool years was nothing but a fraud. As if there really is someone who works one day every single year.

Though it took me this early to realize Santa Claus was a fake, it took me way longer to realize that aliens, time-travelers, espers, and every other sort of super hero or magical girl never existed… Or maybe I never wanted to admit it. Maybe a small part of my heart wanted those things to exist.

Maybe I wanted to meet an alien who suddenly beams out of it's UFO and appears right in front of me, extending a hand in a greeting. Or maybe a time-traveler who bumps into me calls for my help in preventing a tragedy from happening. Or maybe I awake one day and have magical powers of conjuring up fire or something and use these new found powers to protect the world.

But that's just a fantasy never to happen, the cruel truth about reality. I've never seen a UFO or the alien commanding it. No time-traveler to ask me to help him in a dangerous mission. Not even the ability to heat up cold soup with a touch of my hand.

So eventually I stopped with the fantasizing about meeting the supernatural and graduated from my childhood along with junior high and proceeded to a senior high school. There I will become a normal, mature, Senior High-Schoolgirl.

…What? You thought I was a boy? Well I guess my mind is somewhat boyish, but I am female who accepted reality and, unfortunately, looked forward to a normal life.

Until that day…

That day where I met Suzumiya Haruhi.

* * *

After I had graduated from junior high school I had landed a position at my local senior high school. I think I had overslept a little that day, as my little sister was practically taking me to the bathroom. I tied my hair into a ponytail (those are rather attractive), dressed into the school uniform and, although it was optional, decided to wear the dark blue jacket as well. I then headed off for school.

I started to regret the decision to even to apply for this school. The building rested on top of a rather tall, steep hill. It soon hits me that I was to climb this hill every single day for the next three years. And even during a calm spring day, climbing this hill was a work out. I guess I can toss a nice walk in the cool morning air out of the window.

The entrance ceremony was even as long and tedious. It was difficult just staying awake and sitting in an upright position through it. After the damn thing was over, everyone headed to their assigned classrooms. I was heading to room 1-5.

Our teacher, Okabe-sensei, smiled to us before starting a self-introductory. I think he was saying something about Handball that went on for about ten minutes. I'm not too sure, I think that part of my brain may have been fried for the nonstop flow of useless crap. It suddenly occurred to me that he had stopped talking. Maybe he was out of things to say.

After a short awkward silence Okabe-sensei asked us all to introduce ourselves.

Nothing surprising about this I suppose. A common thing for new classes to do. One by one, starting from the left of the classroom, everyone gave a basic introduction- their names, which middle school they had attended, and some 'interesting' stuff, if you can call it that. Some people mumbled their way through; others were relaxed.

When my turn came, I spoke my short introduction with no bumps before taking my seat. I smiled to my accomplishment of this small task and got more relaxed. It didn't last long though, as the person behind stood up. The next few minutes were engraved into my memory forever.

"Suzumiya Haruhi," she said with a clear voice. "From East Junior High."

Sounds normal enough, so I didn't bother to remember her face. I just sat and listen.

"I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time-travelers, sliders, or espers here, then come! That is all."

And with that, I turned to see who this weirdo was. There before me was a beautiful girl with hair that went down to her waist. The only accessory she wore was a yellow ribbon. Haruhi swept her gaze around the room then she looked at me. I was speechless, my mouth wide open. She sat down with that same look on her face.

Was she serious? I hope not. I bet everyone had one thought running through their minds, _'Were we suppose to laugh?'_

After an awkward silence, Okabe-sensei then gestured for the next person to stand, bringing life back into the room.

* * *

So I met Haruhi that day. I had hoped that it was mere coincidence, but sadly that wasn't the case…

* * *

Strangely, the following days Haruhi remained quiet, following the role of an average high school female. There were obviously a couple of kids who had also gone to East Junior High so they knew how Haruhi acts. Unfortunately, I didn't know any East Junior High-schoolers which in turn gave me the lack of knowledge to not talk to her.

One day I sat at my seat. I turned to face Haruhi.

"Hey," I said with enthusiasm. "That stuff you said, back during your introduction, was that all serious?"

She kept a cold glare at me, her arms crossed over her chest. "What stuff earlier?"

"You know, about aliens and that other stuff."

"Are you an alien?"

"Well no but-"

"Then stop wasting my time."

I stared at her. "Can't you act a little more like a female?"

"You can act like a female for both of us little girl."

At times like this I hated my size. She was obviously angry, so I tried to give an apology. But she had turned her cold glare away from me and stared elsewhere.

I turned away from her when I had noticed that everyone was looking at me, giving a sympathetic look. Haruhi's responses and those looks had made me feel a little uncomfortable. It was until later I learned that they had all come from East Junior High.

* * *

During lunch I ate with Kunikida, one of my middle school friends, and an East Junior High graduate named Taniguchi who sat close to me. It was odd for me, a young women at my age, to be eating lunch with two young men. Maybe I should go eat alone, but with gossip these days, you don't know what people will say behind your back. I can still remember that rumor from last year…

One day the subject of Suzumiya Haruhi had popped up.

"Hey, you tried talking to Suzumiya right?" Taniguchi asked. I gave a nod in response. "And she said some crazy things and then you didn't know how to react."

"Are you going somewhere with this? But yeah, that's what happened."

"Listen, if you want to try and befriend her, I'd say give up." Taniguchi placed some food in his mouth and chewed. "She isn't what most people would call normal. You should know that by now."

"What does that mean?"

"I was in her class for three years in a row; I know how she acts."

"You make her sound more like a weirdo than I know."

He used my response as a jumping point.

"Well she is weird doing the weirdest things you can imagine. You know what she said in her introduction right?"

"Those things about aliens and stuff?"

Kunikida had somehow made his way into our conversation. I wonder what he was doing this whole time.

"Yeah, that stuff. During middle school she did all this bizarre stuff. Like that vandalism thing."

That sounded interesting. And weird. "What happened?"

"You know that thing that they use, that uses plaster dust to draw lines on the sports field? Someone snuck into school one night and used that thing to draw a huge symbol in the middle of the field."

I noticed that Taniguchi smiled at this event.

"It was pretty amazing though. Got to school early in the morning and seeing triangles and circles drawn all over the field. I didn't know what it said so I went to the fourth floor to get a better look. Still didn't understand what it meant though."

"I think I read that article in the newspaper," Kunikida said. "They got an aerial shot of it. It looked like something out of a science fiction thing."

"Yeah I heard about that." Taniguchi was saying this. Apparently I'm not in this conversation anymore. He turned to look at me. "Take a guess who did it."

"It was her, right?"

"She admitted it herself. Everyone asked her why but she didn't say anything. She's so serious when it comes to stuff like that. Someone said that the symbol was to call for UFOs. Another guy thought she was trying to summon monsters or try to open a portal to another world. A lot of rumors went around but she refused to talk so nothing was ever confirmed."

Somehow, I could picture Haruhi doing something like that. Preparing everything beforehand, breaking into the school, drawing the lines all over the field, and maybe pausing to look into the sky and wonder if anyone was watching her, if anyone was really going to come.

Maybe I'm just having an overactive imagination. She was probably dead serious about the whole thing. With a face of determination, she drew the lines and waited to see if anything happened. Maybe for hours. Then with nothing happened, she probably went home with a sense of boredom. Maybe melancholy.

My train of thought was suddenly broken by Taniguchi.

"Hey? Are you even paying attention?" he asked. "I said that she also did a bunch of other weird stuff too."

"Give me a list later."

I noticed that Haruhi wasn't in the classroom. Maybe this was why we had this conversation. And even if she was, she might not have cared. She left when it was time for lunch and came back the second it ended. She never carried a lunch box. She probably eats at the cafeteria. But it usually doesn't take anyone a whole hour to eat lunch, right? Come to think of it, she was never in the classroom between classes. Wonder where she heads off too.

"But she's pretty popular though," Taniguchi said with a grin.

"Is this going to be another one of those conversations about girls?" I asked with a bored look. He completely ignored me.

"She's smart, athletic, and even has a nice body. But anyone who had asked her out, she would dump in a period of time. From what I heard, the longest relationship lasted a week; the shortest was for five minutes. She would say the same thing after she dumps someone. 'I have no time for ordinary humans!' Really now, why agree if you don't have time?"

"I can imagine who was the five-minutes guy," I said staring at Taniguchi. "If I was dating you, I would have dumped you that fast too."

"H-Hey, I have enough brains to not ask her out," he said. He was obviously embarrassed. "Anyways, if I was dating someone it would be Asakura Ryōko."

Asakura Ryōko. She was a compassionate and hard-working student. I could see her in a group of girls laughing a few desks away.

"I'd say she's in the top three in our year."

Wait what?

"You checked out every single first-year girl in our school?" I asked. That made me feel uncomfortable.

"Oh yeah! I grouped every girl into categories, A through D. For example, you're a C."

Nice way for making a girl feel unwanted.

"Asakura is an A then?" Kunikida asked. Taniguchi smiled.

"She's an AA+ right there! She's gotta be a nice person with that face and personality!"

From that point on, I ignored the two idiots I sat with. Maybe eating lunch alone wouldn't be so bad…

* * *

During the month of April, Suzumiya Haruhi hadn't acted up. Which means this month was quite peaceful and relaxing. But I had observed some of her more…eccentric behaviors.

Peculiarity #1: She changes her hairstlye every single day. Monday her hair would be worn straight down. Tuesday she would have her hair tied in one area. And each of the following days the number would increase. By Friday she had four ties. Wonder how she would look on Sunday, with six ties. Would probably be interesting.

Peculiarity #2: For Physical Education, classes 1-5 and 1-6 would combine to have Phys ED together. But Boys change in 1-6 and girls in 1-5.

Unfortunately, Haruhi would begin striping even before all the boys had left.

But all the boys in the room would remain confused on what to do. Some just stared. I probably wouldn't have gotten any of them out, so thankfully Asakura and the other girls in the room had gotten all the boys out of the room.

I really didn't want to ask Haruhi why she did this. From what I did hear, she doesn't care what others think. They were all ordinary people. And to no success, she was unconvinced to stop this habit.

Peculiarity #3: Haruhi disappears after every period. And when the final bell rang, she would grab her bag and march out of the room. I thought she usually heads straight home; but to my amazement she had signed up for every single club at school. From what I've seen, she had great talent with everything she did.

But she quickly quits any clubs she joins. Some would let her go, but many would persuade her to join permanently. She turns them down though and quickly joins another club. But it's the same thing everyday.

In the end, she didn't join anything. What exactly is she trying to do? Word about Suzumiya Haruhi spread quickly throughout the school. She was quickly known as the strangest person who had ever existed. And by May, everyone knew of her name.

* * *

Somehow Golden Week has started and quickly ended. As usual I trudged up to school on that damn hill. I could never get used to walking up this thing. Unfortunately it was a hot day so I was dripping with sweat. Maybe I should've ditched the jacket today. What was today anyways? I'll probably figure it out when I get to school.

I felt someone patting the top of my head. I turn to my right and see Taniguchi with his smile.

"Hey Kyon!" he said with enthusiasm.

"Hi." I tried to make my voice sound a little enthusiastic. Taniguchi wasn't wearing his blazer, he had it in his left hand. I noticed his uniform was a bit untidy as well. Did he even wash it?

"Where did you go during Golden Week?"

"I took my little sister to visit my grandmother."

"Sounds boring Kyon."

Incidentally, Kyon is my nickname. My aunt visited our house one time and called me 'Kyon-chan.' My sister thought it was funny and started to call me that. After that, my friends at school called me Kyon and by the end of the month it was permanently sealed into my life. Variations of Kyon includes Kyon-ko and Kyon-chan, which sounds a lot more stupid than Kyon.

* * *

I entered the classroom and saw Haruhi at her desk looking out of the window. She had her hair tied in two buns covered with blue ribbons. So today was Wednesday. I sat at my desk and maybe some sort of alien force or evil spirit took over me.

I turned to talk to Suzumiya Haruhi.

"Do you change your hairstyle everyday as some sort of way to contact aliens?"

She turned her gaze to me. I was expecting her cold glare again, but her eyes were somewhat curious. Somewhat.

"When did you notice?" she asked.

"Um, recently. I think," I replied, trying to stay calm.

"I see." She turned her gaze back out the window. "Actually, I think that everyday gives off a new image."

Inside my head, I think this was the first conversation we had.

"Color-wise, Monday would be yellow. Tuesday would be red. Wednesday would be blue. Thursday would be green. Friday is gold. Saturday is light brown. Sunday is white."

That's when I noticed that she also changed the color of her ribbon everyday too. How could I miss that? But I was understanding what she means. Sort of.

"So with numbers…Monday would be zero and Sunday would be six?" I asked, just to confirm.

"Yes."

"But shouldn't Monday be one? At least that's what I think."

"Nobody asked fore you opinion! You probably think everyday is a one if you wear a ponytail all the time!" She was definitely annoyed.

"Oh…Never mind then."

Haruhi sighed before turning to glare at me. I didn't turn away either. She kept staring at me with those eyes…it made me feel very uncomfortable. She finally said something.

"Have I met you before?" she asked. "A long time ago?"

"I don't think so."

Okabe-sensei came in and with that, our conversation ended.

* * *

Though a bit odd, the conversation wasn't that bad. Being seated in front of Haruhi gave me a good opportunity to start a conversation. And her responses were not what I was expecting. But at least it gave me the feeling she was slightly normal.

The next day she had cut her hair to shoulder length and wore a yellow ribbon. I was rather shocked when I saw this. Wasn't cutting her hair a bit hasty the day after I noticed this? When I asked her:

"Not really."

Was her response.

And from that day forward conversing with Haruhi was a daily routine. I sort of enjoyed it. Sort of.

"Um… How should I say this… Is it true that you dumped every single guy you gone out with?" I asked.

"What gives you right to ask me that?" she asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She then crossed her arms across her chest.

"Well I'm a girl…"

"But it's probably true anyways." She completely ignored me.

"There wasn't any guy that you wanted to date?"

"None of them. Everyone of them was completely boring. None of them was an alien, a time-traveler, or an esper."

Isn't that obvious?

"And most of them ask me out over the phone. What the hell is wrong with them? Stuff that important should be asked in person!"

"Really now?" It was sort of obvious why anyone would ask Haruhi out over the phone. The way she acts…well even I would ask her out over the phone. Not that I would. "Well if I went out with anyone, I would tell him to meet me somewhere and-"

"Who cares?!"

OK, so I made her angry again. I wonder if she had any other emotions besides hate.

"The problem is that all the men in the world are worthless! I spent most of middle school being irritated."

"Then what would be interesting to you? An alien?"

"An alien." I think we both said that at the same time. "Or something among those lines. In any case, as long as it isn't ordinary human, I wouldn't care if it was a guy or girl."

"Why are you so fond of non-humans?"

"Isn't it more fun?"

…Sadly, there was some truth in that. If everyone in the school was secretly non-human, life would be a little bit more interesting. Heck, I might not mind walking up that damn hill.

But there was no possible way of that happening. I don't see an alien inviting me into his house and offering me tea, or a future version of a person I know popping out of a classroom as I enter, or a student taking me to the middle of the city to demonstrate his esper powers.

The sad truth of reality I suppose.

* * *

After a few days of talking to Haruhi, some of the students in the class began to consider me as being the friend of Haruhi. Friend? All we ever did was talk about stuff. Stuff that she considers interesting anyways.

But at the end of the first month, someone had suggested we all have a new seating arrangement. I drew my number and was lucky to be seated in the second seat by the window. Haruhi was now out of my life. Forever.

But that lasted about five seconds.

* * *

"I joined the Mystery Research Group," Haruhi said to me. I decided to turn to face her. A bit odd for her to start the conversation.

"Really? Any good?"

"It was lame. They haven't had anything that sounded like a case. All of them are just mystery fanatic bookworms. None of them even looked like detective material."

"Sounds about right."

"I had high hopes for the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society but it was just a bunch of occult freaks. Does that sound like fun to you?"

"Not really."

"Ugh, this school is so boring! Isn't there one club that is interesting at all?"

"Can't do much about something nonexistent." I said. Maybe a small life lesson would work well.

"From what history tells us, humans just took what was in front of them and became satisfied. Those who weren't decided to invent things. Planes were invented because people wanted to fly; trains and cars were invented because people wanted to move around more quickly. But all this came from limited people with innovative plans and concepts. In other words, it was geniuses who made this all possible for us. Ordinary folks like you and me should be contempt with what we have and enjoy an ordinary life."

Haruhi pounded her fists on her desk.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!"

That was a lot of 'shut ups.' She turned her gaze away back out the window. Guess that speech made her mad. But a someone needed to teach some sense into this girl. Why can't she be like me and be contempt with life? Oh well.

But from retrospect, maybe that speech might have given her an idea. Maybe.

* * *

**A.N.:** After watching the anime a second time I stumbled upon the fan project of gender bending the entire cast. I read some 4komas about Kyonko existing in the 'normal' universe rather than Kyon and I just had this idea stuck in my head. Review and tell me what I could improve on and if I should even bother to continue this.


End file.
